Pizza crash

"I crashed a pizza."

Their steering tends to get soft at 80mph.

I take _____ showers a day.

"I TAKE 3 SHOWERS A DAY."

I'M SURE YOUR FRIENDS THANK YOU!

36C

"I wear a 36C bra."

You sank my battleship.

Couch potato

"Out of bordem, I asked my sister to see if I could fit in a pull out couch. . . I got stuck!"

Boredom is one hell of a drug.

Pants status: Ripped

"I ripped my pants."

I'm flattered.

Pink

"My underwear are pink."

All of them?

Watermelon surfing

"I tired[sic] to surf on a watermelon and fell on the flor after being thrown in the air!"

Sounds like a Tuesday afternoon at my house. . .