Rover

"Childhood Pet: Rover"

I liked Grover; he had an awesome cape.

Cut those brakes

"I fixed my girlfriends Kim's brakes last fall."

And by fix, I meant cut.

3 & 4 relatives

"I have 3 nieces & 4 nephews"

in my basement.

No lolcats?"

"I dislike lolcats"

Sorry, I don't think we can be friends.

Ate what?

"I ate Jimmy Johns for lunch."

You ate Jimmy John's what?

Midget Porn

"Midgets are Hilarious! But midget porn is disturbing."

Again, I'm not responsible for what people decide to share. . .

Brothers

"My 2 brothers both changed heir last names to Klok and Spicer"

Karamazov *was* already taken. . .